Happy Halloween!!!

The scariest (becoz its true) Post ever

On The Site with the permanent halloween theme

What My Mother Taught Me:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -- I just finished
cleaning!"

2. My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle
of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why!"

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

11. My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you
listen then?"

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times -- don't
exaggerate!!!"

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

To me your past is dead
our present fraught with endless possibility
hold the open door for me?
Sure the future’s bright
The future’s a giagantic F@#$%^
flash of an atomic kind
Eternal light
I promise
you’ll sleep sweet Some night
And when you wake you’ll find
A place where there is no more darkness
Nor hellish dreams or demons of the mind
Someday we’ll meet there in that place
Welcome gladly ties that bind
No more need to seek solace,
In the place with comfort of every kind

Every night I burn

Every night I call your name

Every night I burn

Every night I fall again

Burn - The Cure

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Song of the moment: Just give me a pain that I'm used to
I'm not sure what I'm looking for anymore
I just know that I'm harder to console
I don't see who I'm trying to be instead of me
But the key is a question of control
I can't conceal what I feel, what I know is real
No mistaking the faking, I care
With a prayer in the air I will leave it there
On a note full of hope not despair
All this running around, well it's getting me down
Just give me a pain that I'm used to
I don't need to believe all the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve something that rings true

"Do they still call it infatuation? That magic ax that chops away the world in one blow, leaving only the couple standing there trembling? Whatever they call it, it leaps over anything, takes the biggest chair, the largest slice, rules the ground wherever it walks, from a mansion to a swamp, and its selfishness is its beauty.... People with no imagination feed it with sex -- the clown of love. They don't know the real kinds, the better kinds, where losses are cut and everybody benefits. It takes a certain intelligence to love like that -- softly, without props."TONI MORRISON, Love

Saw flamingos
upclose and personal
they're lovely strange birds
who stand on one leg
(like papa does sometimes)
took pictures of rock lobsters
at
had a creepy old arab
come up to me in a crowded shopping mall
and in a raspy whisper said
"mai tumse shaadi karna hai"
In your dreams buddy i said
in my head
out loud: "get away from me'

C-o-n-g-r-a-t-u-l-a-t-i-o-n-s
Mr. (asst.) Vice President...
(please add marilyn monroe-voice)
C-o-n-g-r-a-t-u-l-a-t-i-o-n-s
To you..........
My star babie!!!

Chris went to A Party (check out new party look)
And he said to me:
When's this fever gonna break?
I think I've handled more than any man can take
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around
And it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down
If said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied
Every time I try to talk to youI get tongue-tied
(tongue-tied; and HOW!)
everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right
So I'll say why don't you and I get together and take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other and fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in
and I said: awwwwwwwwww!!!

The Girls agree:...
1. Men are like ...Laxatives...They irritate the crap out of you.
3. Men are like Weather... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars.. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials... You can't believe all they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores.. Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like Government Bonds.. They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like Mascara... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Lava Lamps... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
11. Men are like Parking Spots... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Song Of The Moment....
"It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real Well I don't want to know
Don't speak I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts"

I don't want a conversation, i just want to sit and stare at you
And I don't want to talk about it.

THE NEW PHONE
It's called frosted pink!!!!

daddy says: "boy, you're listening to George"
The first time ever I kissed your mouth
I felt the earth move in my hands
Like the trembling heart of a captive birdT
hat was there at my command, my love
That was there at my command
The first time I ever lay with you
And felt you heart so close to mine
And I knew our joy would fill the world
And would last till the and of time, my love
It would last till the end of time
The first time ever I saw your faceYour face, your face

Got a manicure
a very expensive manicure
D called while I was at the salon, and I said babie i can't talk now
I'm getting my nails done
when he called me later he asked the question
(for those of you who just tuned in, the question = how much)
(includes tone bordering on disapproving:)
so when i did tell him how much
"good grief!! did you have them dipped in GOLD!!"
"no honey"'
(sheepish voice)
"then what's the deal? did you get an oil well free with it?"
"no honey"
(more of the sheepish voice)
s-i-g-h
but they're pretty
(see above ehxibit a, n , b)
went out with my kuw girls n funny dropped by,
poor thing had to endure three women in the mood to shop
and I mean in da mood!!
but he bared it all
with a farway my physical being is here
but my soul is off doing manly things sort-a-way
(at least this time you didn't have to hold my hand-bag)
but slowly we watched him do a bruce banner, incredible-sulk thing
(clever play on words borrowed from D)
and out of deep felt sympathy of the retail-ly challenged one
we called it quits and went to dinner
pizzzzzzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaaaa
hmmmm
and then funny sent off all the forks and knives
which according to him were not clean
who cares its pizza! no pretentious using of a knife n fork!!
(said me)
but no!
he had to send them back!!
it's the principle of things
(s-i-g-h)
then when the drinks came,
the already sulky waitress brought me 7up
instead of diet pepsi
and funny sent that back as well
(I know she spat in it!!!)
s-i-g-h
F-b did you tip her?

spooky spooky one
at dunkin doughnuts
over coffee, Bavarian supremes
and sugared strawberry filled delights
he professed his undying love
(of doughnuts of course)
the widely talked about skill
was demonstrated live
YES!
people!!!! he can indeed stuff an ENTIRE doughnut into his mouth!!!!
(I think he unhinges his jaw)
after accusing me of "playing" him
(no !!! That conversation with my mother while I dressed
now that was playing!!!)
and ticking off the staff for slamming doors
we headed out
(note to self: next time no coffee they're gonna spit in it)
but the spookiness came later...
when he showed me
an entire folder of my texts
it was simple called
"C"
(some of you might wonder what's so spooky
to find out I suggest you ask D)

for the record F-b
check out the post for 7/27/2005
(in the archives)
and you will see more reasons for you being spooky

everyone came over yesterday
: )
jamal, showed up outside my door
we drove off to pick ally
then later....
funny came home with a box of lindt champagne truffles
(actually two boxes)
they were wrapped in gorgeous cream n gold
funny sat down on the rust colored couch
(as instructed)
myths were shattered about the allegedly pink bedroom
(Its not pink I tell you!!)
chatted with my father like a pro
with my mother as if he'd known her from way before
and even complained to my parents about my "threats"
my "dangerous looks"
and the fingernails digging into his arm...
silly funny one
who's turned quite serious on me,
forcing me to revert to his "real"name
and then ham came by....
the sweetest most genuine malice free man on the planet

he's single ladies

(and a keeper:)

All this happened
while I was sleeping...
My mother, hawk like
prevented people
who came to visit from getting past the door
(a couple of friends dropped by..)
she's sleeping she said
rather apologetically
yes said dad barring the way
(or so says mum,
I wouldn't know...I was afterall sleeping!)
then horror of horror
mum realized there wasn't any cooking gas
the spare cylinder was empty too
and dad's dinner wasn't ready
ok so off to get gas it was
while attempting to roll the cylinder out of the house
the neighbor's boy spotting our open door slipped it
(remember them???)
"stop him"said mum
dad missed and he was in our living room
(GAWD!!)
spied my bags in the hallway
and tried to get to my room
but was swiftly distracted by a tactical maneuver by mum
who gave him a girgyan bag
(like a Halloween candy bag filled with goodies)
sufficiently satiated he tried to help roll out the cylinders
apprehensive to leave their sleeping child
(:) me)
parents debated how to handle the lack of gas
finally hunger won out
and they got the gas and came back
after struggling to roll the filled cylinders back into the house
all the while worrying about whether their sleeping child
would wake to find no one home...
LOL
so gas was bought
hamed got candy
and funny flew back
while I was sleeping....

So much for Jet lag...this is what I call Jet Brag!!!

It was Marian Keyes who said travelling
is awful arriving is lovely!
Ladies n gentlemen
I have ARRIVED!!!
after much apprehension over
change of airline
(flew bud-get al jazeera as opposed to kuw-airways)
(with zero security rules)
(who'd wanna bomb al jazeera??)
I got to the airport
to find the universe conspiring to ease my troubles
firstly while the check-in line for kuw-airways
meandered about like a ration line
there was no line at the jazeera counter
none at all !!!
I just walked up and they handed me a boarding card
weight of suitcase magically reducing to 20.3
GLEE!
braced myself for snake like immigration line
but there was NONE!
NO ONE!
slipped under barricades
and pandu hawaldar type says
"chee chee madam such indiscipline"
HAW!!
marches me off to remote counter 19
at one end of the imigration spectrum
(see said closet pessimist cloud closing in on silver lining)
but one glance up at the yellow sign
and yipeee!!!!
gate 10 was just adjacent to counter 19!!!
(HA! take tht closet pessimist)
(not so fast, said she)
as the immigration officer cleared his throat
shaking me out my reverie
the conversation that followed
can only be described as flirting
(hin not me!)

ïs this you in the picture?"
he asked, his voice slightly stern
yes I said hesitantly
" well you know you're supposed to look
older than your picture not younger"he said
peering down at me
i giggled and said should I loose the hair band?
no no he said taking my flippancy seriously
but this picture....he continued
ïs it such a bad picture?"i cut in
"no its not a bad picture"he said
"its just that you're so muc prettier in person"
more giggles escaped my silly lips
"thank you"I said polietly and headed for the gate...
braced myself again for security check
I was the only one there!!!
at gate 10 the policeman said
relax madam jazeera staff haven't turned up yet
we are going for coffee, aap bhi aajao
(is the copper asking me to coffee??
I think he is!!!)
went thru security 15 mins later
sans anyone even looking at the screen
I had perfume and lotion in my bag
hehehehehehehehehehe
slowly people filled the waiting area
about 35 of us
the conversation revolved around
how the airfare was sooooooooooooo cheap
and how they'd serve us nothing.
nothing said the lady beside me emphatically
nothing at all
time for boarding
and still no sign of jazeera staff
when suddenly the chick who was at the check in counter
came smiling by...and opened the gate
she doubled up as announcer and counterfoil collector
beaming all the while
a smooth take off and an
uneventfull flight later...
(except for gasps of shock at the ridiculously priced food
i ate a muffin and drank my mocha latte
out of a styrfoam cup!
rather shamefully....
almost bought the rest of the people chai out of sheer guilt
when the good natured flight attendant
went round handing out hot water and tea bags
to those who couldn't pay for it...
"crew tea"she said to me as she passed by...
i felt slightly better
and swallowed my dry chocolate muffin
eating every crumb )
after a flawless laning the door opened without the usual pause
and I found myself facing a flight of steps!!
no aero bridge
there was a light breeze blowing accross the tarmac,
I inhaled the fresh kuwaiti air
(i'd been breathing thru a tissue all flight long
to avoid flu germs from the sneezee guy
who inhabited the seat in front of me)
and got into the bus that deposited us outside a door that wouldn't open
sesame I said jokingly (I was the first one at the door)
but no one got it
a tall man waved his hand beneath the sensor
as if! I thought and gave him a dirty look
after a bit the door mysteriously swung open
and I landed smack bang in the middle of the line for immigration!!!
this is just too cool
I wnet thru in like under a min
and headed for the luggage carousel
and spotted my bag!!
MY BAG just coming round the bend
I tugge dit off
wondering what I'd done to deserve such smooth sailing
headed for the phones
called up dad
who picked me up
and here I am
telling you about it all
yes girls n boys
I have indeed arrived!

off!!
YA RIGHT
straight down to the principal's office i went
like the kid who wasn't saved by the bell!!!
and stayed there till 6:30!!!
and here I am bawling!! on a saturday afternoon!
AT WORK
THIS SUCKS!!
I HATE EVERYTHING!!!
life is not all ha ha hee hee

:)
sooooooooooo
its the last day at work
and I am dying to get out of here
i'm like that kid waiting to be saved by the bell
except the only bells going off
will be in my li'll head
my kids have done ok on their exams
(so everyone keeps saying)
and my star boyfriend
has bought me books
that are going to make life slightly easier
have to slot out time for packing n buying of stuff
hug hug
off i go....