the mood is set for days on end
a seemingly disturbing trend
there are no given's
and as I'm reminded constantly
take nothing for granted...
I whisper each fear as I exhale
lost to the air
I try not to care....
I wish you could put a ear to my head
and a finger on my heart
to hear...to feel
only feeling makes things real
When I was younger I thought I could see what no one else could see
but I'm still blind at twenty three.....

"And the snow falls down melts before it even hits the ground. And I'm standing here listening to the sound of your hand washing back and forth across my filthy heart. And i don't know if I should say "I'm sorry" or "thank you". I try to speak but the tears choke the words and I think I finally know what they mean when they talk about joy. "
(mineral)

D,
It was STUPID, PROJECTIVE, WISH-FULLING,BRAGGING
by a girl to another girl (Not an excuse)
with NO BAD intention
(you cannot believe I meant any harm)

I know I cannot "talk" my way out of a situation
I've "BEHAVED" myself into
and nothing I say can change anything
(words are useless, especially sentences, even this post has 10 words too many)
so let me show you...
(let me make it up to you)
Don't shut me out
talk to me....
yours,
Tragic and doomed,
c.

If I gave you the truth, would it keep you alive?
Though I'm closer to wrong
I'm no further from right
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with
me
Convinced on the inside, you're so much more than me, yeah
No there's nothing you say that can salvage the lie
But I'm trying to keep my intentions disguised
And now I'm deprived of my conscience and something's got to
give
Deprived of my conscience
This all belongs to me, yeah
I'm beaten down again, I belong to them
Beaten down again, I've failed you
I'm weaker now my friend, I belong to them
Beaten down again, I've failed you
The deception you show is your own parasite
Just a word of advice you can heed if you like
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with
me
Convincd on the inside you're so much more than me, yeah
I'm beaten down

song in my head....

seether truth, get the song n check out the video

1.No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid.
2. dreams exist to remind you your life's a nightmare.
3. Save water- shower with you girlfriend.
(yeah baby)
4. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
5. It is easier to get forgivness than to get permission.
these n many many more at my favourite....
www.coolquotescollection.com

I am left wanting....

I want to be living every moment, untill the moment I die
I don't want to be stuck planning, as my life passes me by
I see no point in waiting for a future, yet unknown
or dwelling in the past, from which I've already grown
I want no more than a burden, I can carry from day to day
for all of us have crosses, to bear along life's way
I want to stop and smell the roses, I want to breathe fresh air
I never want to reach a stage when I will cease to care
I wish for simple pleasures, like a night of restfull sleep
and all my happy memories I wish that I may keep
I really want to wish for love, but instead I will wish for hope
for thats the only thing in life that will really help me cope
lastly I wish that the universe and all the powers that be
will continue to conspire, to grant my wishes to me

an old friend sent me mail....

Chris,

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends; Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "that's her." happy new year chris and good luck in finding your true love...

I.

http://www.blogshares.com/blogs.php?blog=http://www.satirewire.com%2Findex.shtml

OH MY GOD check it out, i made the top 20!!!!
WOW!

I revisited the past
T'was a walk thru words and sentences
few things make sense when you visit once again
I feel small and so transparent
it seems some things never change
even if I feel I've grown 10 years since then

To him I'd say, staying away is my gift to you,
not roses nor chocolate nor books I know you'd want to read, because I want to read them too
You lived aloof, maintaining always your disdain of all things emotional.
even though your Bertrand said,
"Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness"
Your witty retorts, come back lines and sarcasm did well to mask all pain
Alone I tried to be let in, and stayed with all you threw at me
Alone I stayed a stranger, till the familiar bred angst and anger and anguish
as I willed myself away
Now you're gone, and nobody says a word to me about you
nor do I hear whispers or hints about your life.
only your words remain
I choose to keep them
like that box in the attic that you've not quite decided
whether it should stay or be thrown away
Oh, who would have believed that I,
(and you should know)
that I would have lost everything welcomed anything and forgotten all,
if only you had opened the door and let me in.

What have you created?
or is it I?
fated to be knocking shadowed by her past?
to be waiting for a man so strong with tender tongue and iron will,
decisive, opinionated
who makes me ache for him
is it I?
who only yesterday it seems, chatted with another,
hiding his pain and the quivers of his heart from the only one who'd never discount it.
did I give up on you? did your darkness win?
and will it win again if I choose to knock no more?

"I've always been someone who likes to take things one year at a time because as we all know, a year can change everything in your life."
Debra Messing

Yesterday had unpleastness
the words exchanged lacked their usual glitter
we were bitter
tonight the air is heavy with tragedies of the day
I lay my head down
but only the distance yawns
The night brings no comfort nor rest nor dreams
the silence screams
who knows what tomorrow brings

Virginia Woolf said, "if you do not tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people"

Advice to people close to me
Don't lie to me unless you could stake your life on the fact that i'd never find out the truth
though sometimes its really hard to believe what someone's trying to pass off as being true, especially when you know in your heart that you would have lied, had you been in their place

THIS IS MY TRUTH
tell me yours....

I think there exists a difference between truth and honesty
truth is what can be demonstrated by facts, hard evidence
Honesty is more about feelings, therefore unlike truth honesty
can be colored by shades of grey, as emotions often are

What you're expressing to the other, if it comes from the heart will be honest
because it will be with feeling.
ever heard the " cold hard truth"?
thats what the truth usually is cold devoid of feeling
and therefore hard to hear....
I once said (see archive 18/8/2005) "whats the point of honesty, when the truth is really not what you want to hear"
I guess what I was saying is that I prefer honesty to the truth......

At the start of a new year I have realized that the Universe conspires to give me what I want
so here goes......

I want more time...
I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind.
I want someone who makes me go oooooo coz of their wit and wicked sense of humor.
I want to be able to sleep every night
I want to wake up not feeling like I haven't slept at all.

I want to swim.

I want all food to be magically fat-free.

I want to watch more TV

I want to read more.
I want someone for whom reading poetry is foreplay.
I want to remain forever naive
I want.........You