Just as you find God in the desert, you find yourself when deserted
-me

Its funny how the mind makes up a 100 reasons
to rationalize 1 thing the body wants....

It has taken a long time for me to accept the shadow in “me”
There’s a lot that is dark within,
That’s been obscured by exuberance
At first deliberately, now effortlessly
Till I’m no longer seeing “me”, or reality
The void within is self created,
It’s the part of me I’ve disowned
And If I’ve disowned part of me
I’ve disowned “me”…
Its only fear that keeps me from seeing “me”
That keeps me from being “me”
And its only acceptance of “me”
That will bring true clarity to my reality

The other day, I was with him,
and he was smiling down at me
and I asked him, whats that look,
and he said "nothing,just happy..."
and I realised...
I'm so preoccupied with how you see me
I'm missing out on reality
I'm missing out on being happy

She said :wow..i loved it...have u written it??

I said : Yes yes

She said: u know what Chrisann, u have a side...that u keep away from people
the depth..that u have, it doesnt come across...

I said: my site has that side all over it...

She said: an important part of u which i feel is being mised out...

I said: very few people get to see that side, I'm not as social as I come accross,
and the ones who do get to see this side, are the ones who take time out to look beyond the flake...

She said: Now I really want to get to know that side of you better,
the real you...

I said: awwwwwwwwwwwwww

I wonder what I like more....
You,
My idea of you,
or your idea of the "you", you'd like me to like

Dear IT Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and
jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition,Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable  programs, such as
Romance 9.5, and Personal Attention 6.5,
but installed undesirable programs such as
Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and Would Cup 2.0. And now Conversation 8.0
no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've
triedrunning Nagging 5.3 to fix these  problems, but to no avail. What can
I
do?
Signed,
Desperate.

He said : "Divi called...and called her self divya"
I said : " younnoh, thats her name..."
He said : "yea but im so used to callin her divi; so i didnt connect between the 2"

Some how they always forget, Divya and Kalika, are my best friends names...
not kal, di, divee or kaleex, or any other endearing name I happen to be calling them when you, you or him or he came along...

:P

You're real, you are you
Not the representation,
I have of "you" in my head
Then why do I treat you as if, you were...

We're not two halves of a whole
We’re whole in ourselves.

Happy Birthday FLYING RANEE
(not the train, the man)
Its been a while since you've been in touch
miss all your flattering comments...you little red riding Ho
*hehehehe*
Hows ponni, gautam and alesjandro? (did I spell it right?? probably not :P)
call me :D

You never knew me...

You saw the Package
You thought the wrapping was lovely
And you adored the frilly ribbon bow
You were fascinated with the package
So you never bothered to look inside
And when some of the contents spilled out
You were surprised
You never knew me

Same sex friendships can be so empowering, the collective strength one can get out of them is almost addictive, but they seem to have a trap or so I've been hearing in class today
the comfort level you reach in aclose same sex relationship,
with all the trimmings of love affection and solace...it can get so fullfilling, it can hinder the possibility of healthy heterosexual relationships...especially if the friend/s get too clingy or upset about sharing time, or activities with the percieved "intruder" i.e the heterosexual counterpart...(bf/gf)
When same sex friends start to act like jealous bf's/gf's then you know, your same sex relationship is holding you back and limiting your life...
Relating to anyone is a challenging, so evaluate your relationships, on the basis of, how satisfying they are to you?
How they help you grow as a person and whether they're adding to your life
As I learnt earlier last year, life's hard enough, with out peopel you're trying to care about minusing from it....
if anyone's not adding to your life, then they're minusing form it
and so its time to minus them from your life
thts enuff from moi
can't believe the sage mood I'm in
*sigh*
night night toute le monde....

The post bellow is my 500th post :D
How like the universe to pick itself for the big five 0,0
:D
Big congrats to self
pat on the back yada yada yada
YAY!

Ever Since I read the Mayor of Caster Bridge, bazillion years ago,
I always believed that in addition to being out to thwart us, the universe also conspires to give us what we want
If we want it bad enough...
All linked to what I wholly believe... That I need to be careful about my karma,
what goes around comes around, by the power of three times three...
and of course my unquenchable preoccupation with Serendipity :D
What Carl Jung called "synchronicity" and James "Celestine Prophesy", Redfield called "meaningful coincidence",Deepak Chopra (Dee C)has coined "Synchro-destiny".

The key to Synchro-destiny, says Dee C, is asking questions out loud
without trying to find answers.
This, he says, allows the Universe to provide you with what he calls "Synchro-destiny".

It's the way the 'Universe' (or God, the source of all...etc...)
helpfully points us all in the right direction, with ,gentle hints and nudges.
Synchro-destiny is when things "fall into place"; when events seem "fated";
when you feel as though the Universe is "trying to tell you something"
and you "go with the flow".

Most people just brush away the thought of life as pre destined,
saying 'oh, that's just coincidence' but I don't think so...at least not anymore...there've been just too many coincidences lately...I now think every coincidence is meaningful...
When it first started happening, I couldn't explain it,
at least not rational me...so I passed it off as "just a coincidence"
but they reoccurred like something you just can't explain,
something so improbable Dee C is calling it the "conspiracy of improbabilities"

And it doesn't stop there...every dream is a message from the universe,
especially recurrent dreams...they're actually preparing you for your future...

what I saw last night, it frightened me...and in the day light I wondered
was it a projection of what he said?? or was it a message meant for me?

In his first wriiten note to me , He said,
"You analyze everything down to its barest skin.
Even a speck of dirt that dared to Float on to your strawberry sorbet
Chris you forget we’re not all in therapy. Is that how you see me?
I’m not always in need of your help!
It may be a noble thought to save us all but are we all in need of being saved…and do we want to?
Girl I’m not threatened By you just afraid…
You analyse everything I do or say……
I’m beginning to resent your perceptive ways…..
You see right through my soul
And I’m afraid you may one day see me as unworthy of you
Then what will I do?
I used to think it was cool you could read my mind, now I feel like a fool
Each time you see thru me
You seem to know me to my core………
It scares me when you’re so very sure, that you know it all...
But tell me can 2 people really know the other for Sure?
Stop analyzing me girl, Stop toying with my brain
You’re not helping Chris you’re driving me insane……..
A lot of people find me too analytical............"Stop Playing the Psychologist Chrisann.........You'll have plenty Of time to do it...Like For the rest of your life!!!"
------------THIS POST HAS BEEN RE-PUBLISHED from 24th August 2002(in the light of me being at the receiving end....of another perceptive one..:).....................

No one can garauntee happy endings...I'm happy now...I'm not investing in outcomes
I'm investing in the moments...right here right now....

If I'm always afraid of what might hurt me...
how will I ever know what could be....??
we can't control how others will treat us,
and we can't live in constant fear of being hurt...

But the closet pessimist poked her head out
so many words had passed over her head,
and she said: "If it's too good to be true, then it probably is..."
and I sighed for I only want to be...
and I wish you were here...