I'm startled by the inexorability of seemingly impossible things,
always always, asserting their right to be....
pushing towards their possibility....


She lost her mind
Someone kicked her into the back of the line
she lost her head
When they called and said
that they thought he was dead
Dreaming of screaming
Someone kick me out of my mindI
hate these thoughts I can't deny

TIME IS ALWAYS NOW HERE FOREVER,
TIME IS ALWAYS NOW GONE NEVER,
GOD IS NOW THE RULER OF THE PRESENT
,HERE, NOW, FOREVER,
HAPPINESS ENDS
AT THE END OF A BEAUTIFUL TUNNEL,
HERE, NOW, FOREVER,

Sometimes when I'm looking at my reflection
I de-focus till my face is a featureless blur
just a brown n black, nothing
everything unclear...
it's refreshing when I focus again...
and I suddenly appear

Sometimes I feel like I'm outside
floating, looking down at a scene below
and all that I was missing I finally know

she's got this brand new idea
and a few lessons that she's learned
how could she be so blind
in a spotlight so clear
now she understands

what if he did ?
It sure did not show
there's a certain kind of sincerity
and when you know you'll know
- pancho's lament

I thought about you when my faith started to wander
when I woke up with the urge to flee
I have so many places to run to
and so many pieces of me
I thought at first I'd turn to you
but you have closed that door
and I don't want to run no more....

May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly
where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities
that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and
pass on the love that has been given to you.... May you be content knowing
you are a child of God... Let this presence settle into your bones, and
allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there
for each and every one of us.

The people beside me are talking in another language
her words falling from her lips, like water
And he's drinking every drop
the laughter bubbles in between....
I turn away, I cannot look
I'm consumed by envy
so I focus on the screen
blinking back my jealous tears.


Somewhere in the recesses of my head
to myself I said
" how can you be nostalgic about something thats not yet in the past "

If you choose to live in the now

you still cannot discount the effect

the past has on the present,

But r e creating the past

in the present moment

should be attempted with extreme caution

because person variables have changed

and of course, there are no given's

"Heart don't fail me now,

Courage don't desert me,
Don't turn back now that we're here.
People always say, Life is full of choices,
No one ever mentions fear.
Or how the world can seem so vast
On a journey to the past ....

One step at a time,
One hope then another,
Who knows where this road may go?
Back to who I was,
On to find my future,
Things my heart still needs to know.
well, starting now i'm learning fast
On this journey to the past."

sometimes I think we CRASH into eachother just to feel something


I'm in a free fall
and I don't know what to feel
cellularly alone
regurgitating questions
as darkness decends
mind spins a 100 doubts
part of me has started to flee
one real feeling?
INSECURITY

be careful what you're wishing...

Its often single moments that define existence.

One moment you're standing in a locker room and then your life changes forever
One moment you're being helped out by a good samaritan, next you're being stalked
One moment you're listening to karaoke, next you're exchanging names on rice :)


why do I prefer living for the moment?
because a single moment could be the end of everything
or the start of something BIG

haven't you heard the voice in your head scream

Take The Picture Now!

"There are blue skies in my dreamsAnd laughter that seems unending

There are green grass fields there

And happiness and hope "...for the moment

"what keeps you going ?"she asked
I rolled over peering at her in the darkness
could she see me shrug?
why does she ask hard questions?
"i don't know"
I answered honestly.
ambivalent, I am...
honestly
am I being truthful?
what keeps me going?
a phone call to start my day?
words whispered off pages in an old blue book
or a core tendency driving me up and forward
to be the best that I can be....
you tell me
angst ridden and in perpetual self doubt
he remarked..."you sound happy"
its almost like he's surprised
I am
today I am....