Can't believe I'm on the Defaulters List at Univ!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
I'm always there.........I'm always attending........If I cut I stay at home..............waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Besides whats all this crap happening to me these days!!!
I'm making BIG CHANGES IN FEB!!!!!!!
which is tomorrow BTW!!!

Have been a rumour monger today.............was being driven town wards by my Uncle's uniform clad chauffer (who opened the door for me BTW).........when we were diverted off the flyover by overweight Traffic police.........towards univ!!!!!! Imagine driving to town via KALINA!!!!!!!!!
Oh Man it was one long drive BORIVALI TO NARIMAN POINT VIA KALINA!!!!!!!!!!!!
now back to the part where I was a rumour monger...........well obviously was extremely surprised by sudden diversion, and huge incessant traffic jam....being the fidget that I am I got off along with the Driver----------Francis (who has blue eyes!!!)..........and after a brief confrence with other drivers from neighbouring cars, returned with the news of a Bomb Blast at Bandra!!!!.........suddenly all the cops and diversions made sense.....and I got to work calling Uncle ji, Mommy and sms ing people.......
Later found out it was a Rasta Roko...by the fisher folk against ONGC (sticks tounge out)
ya well...........hated being rumour monger.........(shakes head in distress)
sorry all.............

Here are some jokes that Xerxes forwarded to me............:)

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't !!

Q. What did Stayfree say to the condom?
A: Boss if you fail, both of us will be out of business for the next 9 months

A sardhar boy beaten on the Butt by his teacher, goes
home, looks at his back in the mirror and says: "Saale
ne maar maar ke doh tukde kar diya!! (LMAO)
(No offence to the punjabbis:)

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that thing?. (---hehehhehehehehehe :)

Santa reads a poster outside a police station "wanted for rape and murder cases."
He goes in and says, "Sir I want to apply for the job on the poster"
Ok so this one is not THAT funny.........but what was funny is that NAT thought that the joke refered to SANTA CLAUS not Santa Singh..........
hehehehhee stupid phirangi!!!!!

My Dearest Dale has sent this to me........ it requires a bit of intelligence and a lot of TV knowledge...........I'm sure you guys will aprreciate it :)

>ISLAMIC TV GUIDE

>SUNDAY:
>0800 - My 33 Sons
>0830 - Osama Knows Best
>0900 - I Dream of Mohammed
>0930 - Let's Mecca Deal
>1000 - The Kabul Hillbillies
>
>MONDAY:
>0800 - Husseinfeld
>0900 - Mad About Everything
>0930 - Monday Night Stoning
>1000 - Win Bin Laden's Money
>1030 - Allah McBeal
>
>TUESDAY:
>0800 - Wheel of Terror
>0830 - The Price is Right if Osama Says it's Right
>0900 - Children are Forbidden from Saying the Da rndest Things
>0930 - Saddam's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
>
>WEDNESDAY:
>0800 - Beat the Press
>0830 - When Kurds Attack
>0900 - Two Guys, a Girl, and Pita Bread
>0930 - Just Shoot Everyone
>1000 - Veilwatch
>
>THURSDAY:
>0800 - Fatima Loves Chachi
>0830 - M*U*S*T*A*S*H
>0900 - Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils
>0930 - Married with 139 Children
>1000 - Eye for an Eye Witness News
>
>FRIDAY:
>0800 - Spongebob Squareturban
>0830 - Who's Koran Is It Anyway?
>0900 - Tele talibans
>0930 - Camel 54, Where Are You?
>
>
>SATURDAY:
>0800 - Judge Jihad
>0830 - Suddenly Sanctions
>0900 - Who Wants to Marry a Terrorist Millionaire?
>0930 - Cave and Garden Television
>1000 - No-Witness News

Is a little consistency too much to ask for ???.......... Apparently it is..............
exhausting this is...........I'm so very tired........
if only he'd be consistent, I wouldn't be fickle, I'd be fine and loving!!!!
Why does he have to fluctuate.........

oh please read this........please know I'm refering to you...........please fix this cause I'm done trying
Why do I have to explain everything
Why can't you just read my mind......!!!

It has been known for many years that sex is a good exercise, but until
recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of
different sexual activities. Now after original and proprietary research
they are proud to present the Following results....................

Removing Her Clothes:
With her consent ...............................12 calories
Without her consent ..........................187 calories

Opening Her Bra:
With both hands ................................8 calories
With one hand ..................................12 Calories
With your teeth .................................85 calories

Putting On A Condom:
With an erection................................6 calories
Without an erection...........................315 calories

Preliminaries:
Trying to find the clitoris.....................8 calories
Trying to find the G-spot.....................92 calories

Positions:
Missionary.......................................12 calories
69 lying down...................................78 calories
69 standing up.................................112 calories
Wheelbarrow....................................216 calories
Doggystyle......................................326 calories
Italian chandelier..............................912 calories

Orgasm:
Real...............................................112 calories
False..............................................315 calories

Post Orgasm:
Lying in bed hugging.......................................................18 calories
Getting up immediately...................................................36 calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.................816 calories

Getting A Second Erection: If you are:
20-29 years old................................36 calories
30-39 years old................................80 calories
40-49 years old................................124 calories
50-59 years old................................972 calories
60-69 years.....................................2916 calories
70 and over......................................Results are still pending

Dressing Up Afterwards:
Calmly..............................................................32 calories
In a hurry...........................................................98 calories
With her father knocking at the door....................1218 calories
With your wife knocking at the door................... .3521 calories

Xerxes sent this one to me..............hmmmmmmmm I wonder why?????

My spiritual adviser has this to say to my readers------>"There is no limit to what you can accomplish. Realise that. Never relinquish any task or give up the thought of any task because it seems beyond your power"
wow thats deep...........:) HOPE I guess is the underlying message...........:)
The advice for me for the present is, love, laugh, and be calm and rest, without fear of the future, all is being taken care off
I find that very very reassuring at this juncture.......... What with a month of Life changing happenings........Life changing conversations.........am soaked in confusion and indecision.......and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel for me...........Fuckwittage all arround..........But I've decided on the 22nd of Feb is when it all stops by the 22nd Of Feb I will come to a fixed solution............I'll be stable........ fingers crossed
I hate this period I've never felt more confused before.........poor commitment phobic me has had too large doses of my own poison............and now am unable to form functional relationship with significant other........who will be approved of by both, parents and close friends..........and will somehow fit into idealised man category.........But have set deadline and will hopefully stick to it...........This is all Prodigal's fault after him I've been in this confused prolonged moratorium!!!............he BTW has successfully formed LTFR long term functional relationship..........but I'm happy for him.........somehow I can always find it in my heart to forgive my fave fuckwit :)


PS am gonna be joining the anti war campaign avec Kalika and Divya..........we're getting T-shirts that are gonna say NO BLOOD FOR OIL!!
just doing my part :)

Have had an hour long drive and I'm tired..............................drove all the way to the Goregaon--Malad flyover............have had too much sun.........weeeeeeeppppp
will cheer up later when I meet up with my girls for an all girls night in.....No boys allowed YAY!!!!

For those who didn't realise..............the post bellow was sarcastic.......not just funny............as Gitika said, there's nothing funny about war..............

If You're Happy And You Know It Bomb Iraq (to be sung to the tune of if you're happy and you know it------> call me for live version:)

Originally-------> by John Robbins
Contributed By ShreB

If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.

If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.

If the terrorists are frisky,

Pakistan is looking shifty,

North Korea is too risky,

Bomb Iraq.



If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.

If we think that someone's dissed us, bomb Iraq.

So to hell with the inspections,

Let's look tough for the elections,

Close your mind and take directions,

Bomb Iraq.



It's pre-emptive non-aggression, bomb Iraq.

To prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.

They've got weapons we can't see,

And that's all the proof we need,

If they're not there, they must be there,

Bomb Iraq.



If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.

If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.

If you think Saddam's gone mad,

With the weapons that he had,

And he tried to kill your dad,

Bomb Iraq.



If corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.

If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.

If your politics are sleazy,

And hiding that ain't easy,

And your manhood's getting queasy,

Bomb Iraq.



Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.

For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.

Disagree? We'll call it treason,

Let's make war not love this season,

Even if we have no reason,

Bomb Iraq.

Hi people...............spent a very very lazzzzyyyyy day at home............:)
Gosh I have to tell you guys about my driving debacle yesterday...........I cannot drive any other car other than the one I've been training on.... So when mum n me went to the sales lot to check out the cars..........The sales dude let me take a test drive on an old battered maruti 800.......and I could barely drive it....I had no control I kept releasing the clutch too soon so the car kept stalling eeeeeekkkkkkk
I so suck at it............. after that my mother who was highly ashamed of my inability to drive......dragged me back to the driving school and I've been enrolled again for ten days practice drives, an hour long!!!! with my old instructor feeling highly insulted about my mothers insinuations that I haven't learnt a thing......
sniff sob weeeeeeeepppppppp!!!!
I've gotta get this driving thing going and fast.....or I won't get my own car!!!!!!!.....and I do so wanna drive..............:(
My parents are being really generous..............which probably means more of doing things their way.........
The last thing left I guess is the censorship of my thoughts........I don't even wanna think of what my mum would say if she evr did get a peek at my thoughts.......hehehehehehehee.........but I still think I have it better than some girls my age.........Rationalization???
perhaps.........:)

Fundamentalist extremists scare me...especially when the fundamental is
Capitalism and the extremist is a President with a "defense" budget in the
trillions.
---------> Dale

HEY HEY HEY all................Sorry for the long abscence.......but I'm here now..............have had the most happening weekend since the Christmas season.......
Being all stressed with the journal et al...definitely paid off..........Friday was dinner at Legacy Of China......YAY!!! love Legacy......:). Worked hard on saturday and went off to Di's place..........had soooooooooooooooo much fun.............and the highlight of the Night besides all the fun I had with my girls........was the fact that Yasser called!!!!
Yes yes yes...........spoke to him like forever...........catching up...........:)
Got home only by noon on sunday..........wrote like crazy.........then Yasser called and said he had a surprise evening planned for me and that I couldn't say no....... And we had the most amazing time.....he whisked me away to Borivali to see Zakir Hussain In concert!!!!!!!!!!....(I'm now a FAN!!!!!!)......we entered sans tickets
and sat cosily in an exit corner....cushioned by curtains and eachother ;).......while Ustaad enthralled us all..........
we then had a lovely extra long rickshaw ride back to Andheri........where we went to Bombay Blue for dinner----->where he was supposed to draw graphs with me, and gladly offered to do so, when we finished our meal....... but I couldn't subject him to that sorta toture, it being 11:20 pm and me being in no mood for Journal work.........and then he droped me home (alas all good things come to an end)..........Oh I had such a good time.......:)
It made Journal completion so much easier............:).......Dude when you said brace yourself............I guess you really meant it huh..........;)
But as I say everything has a down side..........he's taking off again...........I'm gonna really miss him this time........:)

"As soon as we start putting our thoughts into words and sentences everything gets distorted, language is just no damn good--I use it because I have to, but I don't put any trust in it. We never understand each other." - Marcel Duchamp
contributed by Vishal------->Check out his blog.........the link's bellow...........

Hey all..............had such a busy day...........weep..........and its not over yet...........eeeeeekkkk
have loads of stuff left to do and I'm hurrying it like crazy as I have to be at Divi's b-day on saturday......and have to finish my research proposal.......which is on EQ BTW......
besides am surfing the crimson tide..........

> >Presently viewing... Horoscopes by Adam Sandler
> >
> >Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.
> >
> >Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) - You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient, and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.
> >
> >Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) - You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.
> >
> >Taurus (April 23 - May 22) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist.
> >
> >Gemini (May 23 - June 22) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.
> >
> >Cancer (June 23 - July 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding of other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.
> >
> >Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.
> >
> >Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.
> >
> >Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.
> >
> >Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) - You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.
> >
> >Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. You are a worthless piece of shit.
> >
> >Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) - You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance.

>9 Things I Hate About Everyone
>
>1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know
>where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch
>when I ask where the toilet is?
>
>2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room
>for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the
>channel manually.
>
>3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
>Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
>
>4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
>Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? do people do
>this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!
>
>5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I
>paid Rs.100 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.
>
>6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a
>choice there, did ya sunshine?
>
>7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,then
>there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there
>must have been something before it.
>
>8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest
>damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
>
>9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
>yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass?

contributed By---->NAMZ

Passed my Driving test.....YAY!!!!
have had a very very long day...................but a fruitful one in all respects.............;)
BTW dislike nosy people.........take one Mrs. Mishra for example.......PS was secretly glad she f@#$%^ up her test lol!!! (evil @me)

Just some lines to read and smirk at.........(and so that people don't find this weblog too self absorbed :} its a weblog!!!!)


Conscience is what hurts when
everything else feels so good.

***************************
Talk is cheap because
supply exceeds demand.

***************************
Even if you are on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there.
***************************
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world.
A pessimist fears that this is true.

**************************
There will always be death and taxes;
however, death doesn't get worse every year.

***************************
In just two days,
tomorrow will be yesterday.

***************************
A day without sunshine is like night.

***************************
If marriage were outlawed,
only outlaws would have in-laws.
***************************
last ones my favourite......

I stayed home today feeling extremely ill...........serves me right for eating so much junk last night....Sameer (my uncle), picked Petula (his wife, my aunt), Rohan (their son, my little cousin) and myself from church and took us out to the Beach in MALAD!!!!!! where we OD'ed on junk pani puri, sev puri, the works......and then instead of driving straight home.....we went to eat more junk at this roadie samosa stall the name slips my mind.... but they were deffinitely the best samosas I have ever eaten..., washed it all down with Chass from this place that Uncle dharam had taken us to..., then when I thought that finally we would be driving home.....we drove to BANDRA!!!!! to Candies........where we got more snacks by that time I could eat no more and was fully expecting to be driven home instead was driven to Snowbite the ice cream place, where I stoutly decline any ice cream.....(I have a cold)....And then we did drive home......:)
am pretty jittery about my test tomorrow....mum has decided to accompany me, along with kalika......:) YAY!!!! (fingers crossed)

Spent the whole day doing nothing but reading and snacking and choking over my HORRID COUGH!!!!!...have been sleeping off the after effects of my neighbours pre-wedding party..............There was a live band with Jhankar Beats!!!!! and I danced the total junglee dance YAY!!!!!
Have family coming over tomorrow from Bangalore......my God child meagenand her mum Maryann.....her pic is online..........(look below for link to pics)
This week end is gonna be soooooooooooooooo much fun.................cept for horrid cold and choking cough!!!!!
Well I always say..........There is a down side to EVERYTHING............believe me.............

The sniffles of yesterday have developed in to a full blown cold............runny nose.....sporadic sneezes......sore throat........feverish feeling all over......dull ache at the back of my head.....
and I'm still smiling!!!!!! maybe coz.....I've finished 2 intros...YAY!!! and got my scale...YAY....(phew...finally!!!)......and Dad whipped up a wonderful Baked Fish (This Huge Silver Pomfret) dinner........luckily I have retained some tasting capability.......(YES COZ OF THE COLD!!!!!!!)
Nis is going to GOa for a week lucky Bas*d and he's cribbing coz its with family!!!!!!! DUDE ITS GOA!!!!!!!! ITS A WEEK AWAY FROM MUMBAI!!!!! IN GOA!!!!!!
will not be envious........as Nis has promised present YAY!!!!!!

Had a really really nice day.............manda took us girls out for lunch...........to Bombay Blue...........we met up for Christmas et al......but it was all a whirl coz when we did, we had church to go to, then the party...followed by rain.........so didn't get much conversation in at that time..........But I think we totally made up for it today!!! And being in Bandra...we ended up doing the inevitable..........we went shopping......I have got such a cool pair of pants!!! I want to live in them!!! and then I got this adorable black shirt which makes me feel soooooooooo sexy............YAY!!!............after which we realised that, as we had all missed our naps, we were getting kinda tired so we headed to Mocha for irish cofee, lemonade and loads of conversation.......and there they played my song.....PUNJAB........(The STFT!!!)...........So there.... that was my day.............:)

Oh....... Thanx a lot to BD, for being soooooooooooooooooo concerned about me.............I really appreciate it......you're such a sweety....... kisssssssss :)
and also thanx to Yasser for taking time out to visit the page:)........keep coming n keep posting:)

Why are Prof's being nice to me!!!!!! getting highly suspicious...........
Went to ask Prof Satischandra help........and he was soooooooooooooo nice................and gave me loads of tips............even told me what stats I need to do!!!!
I know now exactly what I'm doing just have to fine tune it.........:)
Had lovely lunch and chat with Gitika...........topic of the day was ofcourse...........FUCKWITTAGE............you know my patience with the species is really running thin.....and I'm starting to find women very attractive...........might just make the cross over............lets see........will keep u guys posted ;)

Have you heard Punjab By Karunesh yet????
According to nis its a STFT.............to find out what STFT means check out Nis' blog........(click on the link below that says "Nichint's web page")

Went To St. Xavier's today..........:) Met My Profs M'am Geera and M'am Ruby..........both were so sweet and welcoming and awwwwwwwwww Made me miss them!!!!
they were extremely helpful......gave me great advice and a few tips et al.......even offered to lend me books I may need and contacts for the scales I require........awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww they were soooooooooooo nice to me (unexpectedly!!!)
I'm overwhelmed...........
Even the Library Dude let me browse in peace sans permission............and the security dude didn't even make me sign in!!!!!!
I'm having a fantastic day......wow.........

LOVE 2003 already!!!!
Papa arrived early this morning giving mum n me a lovely surprise............:)
Such a great way to start the new year............surrounded by people I love best...............
Had a blast last evening...........window shopping.......... junk food..........coffee........sunset beach walk.............sexy sea food dinner............enigma...........dancing and a bit of alcohol..........a lot of Karunesh-->Punjab........wishing everyone and anyone............frantic sms...............more wishing.........coffee....(to sober up)........conversation.............sleeeeeeeepppppppppppppp.............
Love My girls.............and prats :)
Kal, Divie.......you guys are the best.............:)
Missed you manda:)