A constant source of amusement is the parking situation outside our building, there’s space enough for everyone, if they stick to the one car per apartment rule…tired of people placing their multiple car’s in our space and random people parking in our building’s space…almost ten years after we’ve moved here, someone finally got it into their heads to assign fixed spaces, so on the cream wall bordering our building are large clumsily painted on apartment numbers assigning parking slots…great!! we all thought but as it turns out the slots are just like the points on “who’s line is it anyway” they don’t count… hence the parking situation outside our building continues to amuse us…as everyone continues to park in each others space, my neighbor parks in just about any available spot even when his own spot is vacant!!!, leading me to believe that he a. he just can’t read, (English or Arabic) or b. doesn't know the number of his own appartment(as I have long suspected)(wait a minute both a and b might just apply in his case!!)…and just about everyone/(everything with wheels) parks in our spot except us… …with a bright purple Mercedes in our spot last night…and this morning (when we got back from a hearty breakfast at the waterfront)…even a trash can!!!

Just got back from the radisson....
the jazz festival kicked off today
with a polish quartet with an indonesian percussionist
very novel sound...a lot of african influences
even some indian sounds...and if you've ever heard a rain stick
they had something similar and it was just brilliant...
Then there was the food...Indian, Arabic, American and Chinese
I picked the live stir fry station along with mum and ally
we had a great dinner...skipped the soup and salads completely
ate and listened and ate some more...
Then there was a break and time for dessert
Now I've seen a lot of dessert spreads before
but this was to die for
I circled the spread for the 5th time
wondering what to put on my plate
I'm stumped I said to the lady in the blue halter
"mee too" she said emphatically and added some caramel banana's to her plate...
"Mum I can't decide i hissed" at mum who zeroed in on the custard
while ally just picked stuff at rnadom
I stole the cranberry garnish off some mousse like concoction
and paused to consider whether I should knick the rasberries as well
when I was rudely inturrupted by this guy
who was staring down at my plate of delectable delights
"you've got about enough... off you go" he said

I was first shocked, then indignantly looked up
and met a pair bright blue eyes
which deffinitely had a twinkle in them
Then got all flustered and tongue tied and
muttered something like "yes maybe I do have enough"
when his friend (taller less blonde),
said "Oh please ignore him he's scottish"
which gave me enough time to collect myself
and say in my haughtiest tone...
"should I ignore all scott's or just him"
(scottie was now just smiling down at me, dessert plate in hand)
his friend laughed and said "all scott's especially him"
"ahhhh" i said, and with a quick hair toss made speedy but graceful exit
last time I looked
it was scottie who looked embarassed
when he realised
it was not little girl he was being a smartie with
but grown woman, masquerading as little girl with mother in tow
SIGH*
when will I look older!!!!
later as I stood by the stage
taking pictures
tall (less blonde) friend of scottie
walked by and gave self huge apologetic smile
which I successfully ignored
HA!

I found my old diary and the contents made me cry
it made me feel as if my first real love was one big lie
I flipped its dusty pages my words looked up at me
the hurt the pain the conflict in ink for all to see
and then i found the last page, page seventy three
which had on them, his last true words to me
"I never stopped loving you, I just stopped telling you"

His surprise at stuff I say amuses me
He looks at me with this, look as if to say
HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS
wait it wasn't just a look
he came right out and asked...
how did you learn all this??
and then the clincher
you're sooo classy
(with an exclamation mark)
I wasn't offended...just amused...
I can't blame him he's surrounded
by incompetent people who just happen to be from my country
and also happen to be only waiter's and maids et al...
And he accused us of racism...
(hehehehehe)
like my hon said...of course W@#te people are inferior
racism in reverse...
sigh
and being surprised at me being (apparently) "classy"
was not condescending???
and god forbid I say anything about that
NO NO
no reverse racism here...
As I said once (in 2003 actually, or so my archives tell me)
this is why i love the night, an equaliser,
unlike the sun shine that exposes all our differences,
night covers us all in darkness.......
its hard to tell brown from black in the dark...........

HE: "im in the same city and if i dont see her for more than three days i develop a hangdog look and start pining"
ME: " i certainly pine...him well i dunno...dunno if he'll let me know"

Thought to self

Sometimes i don't think i'm pine worthy...

all this distance seems to be
cuing in me deep seated insecurities
one forgotten sms and I'm deflated

feel free to tell me babie
frequently...

So yesterday we went to the hilton for their beach party,
most of which I spent seated on a rock
with both my feet in the arabian sea
watching tiny fish swim by, in weird formations
quite like ducks actually...
then the crazy games began as the sun went down
but I really really couldn't join in
kya kare, I am Like this only
choosing instead to enter the huge tent
filled with three huge tables loaded with food
none of which i wanted to actually eat,
so finally tried some shrimp that i liked
and ended up eating large quantitites of the shrimp salad only!!
dad had been glowing all evening
as the Hilton security had said "nice car"!
so after my shrimp binge, when I waaa-ed a little
and said can we go home now?, he was most happy to oblige...
it was on the drive home I realised that I get car sick,
especially when driving 125 kms/hr
cant really feel the bumps, the camry is good that way,
but the speed took its toll leaving me very very nauseaous

got home and went right to bed...
no more shrimp for me...

in kuwait...
apologies for lack of posts

and.... in other news today...
I turned 23!!!!!!!!!!

I landed in kuwait to my waiting father
and was marched towards car for ride home
or so I was expecting, as I absentmindedly
went over to the wrong side of the car...
only to find the steering staring me in the face
felt so silly, so giggled and quickly hopped
over to the passenger side, much to the amusement of daddy
ahhhhh
so I was expecting a nice ride home to waiting bed and sleep
alas was driven straight to the immigration office
to renew my residence visa,
all done in under ten minutes despite
long lines due to charming self
(kya kare, I am like this only)

so it was the eve of my birthday
and my first evening in kuw
full of healthy resolutions for the summer
i joined mum and her friend sophie for a power walk
at the water front...BAD IDEA
about 15 mins of power walking
and I was sitting on the bench with my feet on the rocks
staring at the water which was a gorgeous teal...

got home and luxuriated in my (pink) tub
for what seemed like forever till my fingers
shrivelled up like prunes

Then my parents took me to the hard rock cafe
which was fun...but not as much as it would've been
with alcohol and rock music...
yet good food and plesant conversation sort of made up for it
sort of....
missed my gurls and d

Someday's I feel like
I'm perched precariously at the edge of my seat
day's when only bitterness seems sweet
when a heavy heart is food for thought
when whats at hand, is what's not
my mood, my strife, my choice, my life

sigh
only on sleepless nights
does this song fully make sense

"I'm not threatened, by
every pair of legs you watch go by
I don't cringe when you stare at women,
it's just a thing called guy
I don't notice your side ways glances
or where your loyalty lies
I'm secure and out of me,
it's hard to get a rise
I'm not jealous
I don't get moved by much
I'm not enraged
Not insecure as such
Not going insane
Rational, stays in touch
Doth I protest too much?
I'm not tortured by how oft your busy,
Cause I've got things to do
I'm not disappointed about how you don't miss me,
cause I don't need you to


So much energy to prove to you
Who I can't possibly be
So much energy to prove to you
I'm not who you hate for me to be

alanis-->off so called chaos

bad blogger
bad week
too tired to waaaaa

so I was puzzling over an important decision
cup or cone??

SHE:" why did you get a spoon?"
Me: "I'm having the cup experience with a cone"

just as Some mornings
it just doesn't seem worth it
to gnaw through the leather straps...
some evening's its better to sink than swim
*sigh*

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID STORAGE-FACILITY
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY JEETENDRA-ISH.
3. He does not GET LOST - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He is NOT AGE-IST
6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION.
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not a COMMITMENT PHOBIC EMOTIONAL FUCKWIT -
He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

They say when a door closes somewhere
another one opens...
I think the converse also holds true...
a door opened last night
and this morning
I hear echo's of others slamming shut
clings to her rock
and wonder's what she'd do if his
door's were slamming too

my
rock of calm
in this restless sea of me
I cling to you
to your words, in my ears
to your picture, in my head
(and in my phone)
you're not here
yet
you're all over me
my comfort
my blanket of security
kisses to my hon