I know that lately you've been feeling down n low
so I'm hoping some tender talk will set your heart aglow
I know its not much of a birth day
when all of your friends are so far away
I wish that I could give you a reason for rejoicing
and surround you with affection that only care can bring
All of the best of love and life for you,I wish I could bestow
but mostly I'd gift you my understanding, if only I could know!
How can I make this day special, how can I contain my mirth
How do I explain why I'm so glad, on YOUR day of birth
There's not much a girl can do, and its really not fair
to feel all celebratory, when you seem, not to care
I attempt to with a poem, heartfelt and true
and even dare to say happy birthday to you
my hon, my hot one, my boo

These days
I can't seem to get it right
at odds with the universe
and completely in the dark
so I attempt (apologetically)
to make it up
to Him and Him,
to whom time and space mean nothing
and the other everything

One who now knows
and yet understands
I feel stripped naked bare
and yet what you said
shows comfort and care
they say that a true friend is one who knows you and still loves you
Thank you
One
who knows that mirrors don't lie
and understands the truth hurts...

A year ago, (re-posted) I had this random obnoxious boy at a party grab my arm and say "you look bored, take a walk with me "

so I did just to humour him, besides I was bored

then he says "guess wht I do for a living"
and I said "work in a call centre?" :D hehehhehehehee

and he says "I'm directing my 1st film"

so I was like, " oh you're in film school"

and he's like "no no"

"is it a documentary of some sort?" I ask hopefully

but he says "no no its an ACTION film"

I almost gagged "oh " I said "commercial Hindi cinema"

argh @#$%^&*

"I assisted on murder" he says proudly

sheesh not murder!!! like thts something to be proud of!@#$%^&*

Follows that horrific revelation with, "my new film's called zeher... the poison"

had to pinch self, but was laughing already...
had to put this up here so u can laugh too...
that was a year ago

well the film was made and did quite well
I met this same boy last night
not so random, still obnoxious and unapologetic for it
entered swearing loudly in hindi
every second word was F@#K which I do believe
has become a syllable in his conversations
of all the 8 people there, he sat across from me at dinner
started off with telling everyone about the sex toys
he bought while shooting on location and
I braced myself for an evening with trash mouth...
but beneath the veneer of "such audacity!"
was just a boy, "striving for superiority" (as Adler would put it)
he actually said some very very intelligent, relevant things
my condescension was humbled...

These days I do not watch much T.V
I've re-discovered my first love, reading
I now actually have the time to curl up
and read for pleasure :D

These days my Hon provides the pleasure
(of a different kind ;)
with "Maximum city", and chocolate-walnut fudge
(my favourite)
I devour both with equal and un-ashamed greed

These days, I refer to reading "maximum city"
as spending time with Suketu
I'm almost through with the book
and his words they jump so easily
off the page and into my minds ear
as easy as conversation, so when I read,
I feel as if he's talking to me
hehehehe I feel narcissistic and silly saying this
but its all true
:)
These days strangeness feels familiar

"you've put on weight" he once said...I couldn't eat a thing for 3 days after...
that was then
I wish I could say I no longer subscribe to other people's standards, its just that mine are impossible enough...
Now
just to prove that things are different, I ate a bowl full of ice cream, ignoring the dull ache at the back of my throat that's been there since this morning...

LOOK BELLOW!!!
I've made additions
this little test determines, from your name alone, the most dominant personality traits and gives you a little fun recipe----> your own personality cocktail.
mines up there, try it for your self :D
enjoi

"it is well known that chaos and disorder result from a messy mix, from heterogenity"
suketu mehta---->Maximum City
its so true, I was born into heterogenity, a messy mix, its only natural that I thrive in the chaos that makes up the fabric of my existence...the mosaicism of ME
perhaps the "messy mix" can account for the eternal restlessness...

ptch!
babie gurl
whats the point of "honesty", when the "truth's"
not really, what you want to hear...
walk away now with "minimum collateral damage"

Conversation Overheard

R: "oh tomorrow...oh My wife's on the same flight!"
D: "Oh really"
R: "could you please see if she needs anything"
D: "Of course, I will"
R: "thanks thanks"
D: "but I've never met her, describe her so I'll know who she is "
R: "Oh don't worry she'll be the most beautiful woman on the plane"
(R then hangs up, leaving a very bewildered D)
AWWWWWWWWWW @ R

it took me by surprise,
nearly knocked me off my feet
I stood there smiling one second
and then I saw Him smiling back at me
I froze, like in a sleep terror episode
I could do nothing but stare

he spoke to me,
"can I see you at lunch?" he said
and it was Him all over again
a crowd of girls jostled me
back to present reality
"No no" was all I managed to mumble
"ok maybe next time" he said running off
I continued to stare
that hair those eyes that smile

In hind sight, like right now I think
the nose was different and yes even the chin
but as I stood there in a sea of kids
he was just like Him...

soon i'll grow up and I won't
even flinch at your name

"school of clones" she said laughing
at my hushed tone and serious air
"well they certainly cloned Him" I said
"And me" she added
Perhaps one day at work i'll bump into me

MY BLOG TURNED THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First post ever-------->
"Hello Hello, I’m Ms walking contradiction… welcome to my Blog ……. First off a bit about myself…….I’m 20. I’m a student at the Mumbai/Bombay University. I study psychology…………I love it and Yes I must confess I love to analyze anything and everything much to the horror of some people who happen to have the (mis)fortune of being under my microscope…….. …………The posts r about nothing at all….just random stuff bout friends, significant as well as insignificant others, stuff I like, stuff I can’t stand, stuff that’s just absolutely nauseating like class is sometimes.......etc etc ……keep logging on and please do comment.........."


Putting it together was a beginning
Keeping it together, is progress
Actually having it work out....Success
Congratulations to me
On the blog turning three
What started off as a space, to vent
Quickly became a tool
to evoke, annoy and amplify Sentiment
:D

these precious illusions in my head
did not let me down when I was a kid
and parting with them is like parting with
invisible best friends

She: "I can't believe you're gonna be teaching R@#$%^, hahaehahohehao"
me: "I KNOW"
me: "The toes you step on today maybe connected to the ass you're gonna have to kiss tomorrow"
She: "you're wise beyond your years"
She: "You said that way back in college"
Me: "bows"

why grieve the spirit in the other?
whether boyfriend, just friend or secret lover

boyfriend
noun: a person’s regular male companion in a romantic or sexual relationship.

(according to the Oxford Dictionary)


boy·friend (plural boy·friends)
noun 
Definitions: intimate male friend: a man with whom somebody has a romantic or sexual relationship

(according to the Encarta-Dictionary)

boyfriend   
noun [C]
a man or boy with whom a person is having a romantic or sexual relationship:
e.g.He's not my boyfriend - we're just good friends!

(according to the Cambridge-Dictionary)

boy•friend
Pronunciation: (boi'frend"),—n.
1. a frequent or favorite male companion; beau.
2. a male friend.
3. a male lover.

(according to the Infoplease Dictionary )

for more (universal definitions) please see www.onelook.com

My definition of Boyfriend coincides with what I think of a "Relationship"

(since people even differ on ideas of what a "Relationship" is!!)
My idea of a "relationship" is individual, intimate, exclusive
its when I engage profoundly with one person,(boyfriend)
and in turn the engagement of my significant Other/ boyfriend
is absolutely essential...

(unfortunately) His definition differs...

the briefest of time
seems like an eternity when you're waiting....
-c

How often careless words get thrown
How easily seeds of uncertainty get sown
Everything you said or didn’t say
Will get played in my head 100 times anyway
Till its something worse than intended
Your defense, you never meant it.
So I keep silent, you think we’re past this
But I’m still stuck on that precipice
Tumbling on a thought and I’m falling fast
I can’t forget, or move past.
My last shred of self assurance is torn
And I remember I was better off alone.

sometimes very late at night, the hardness slips out of your eyes
the walls drop and the casual feel of your hand in mine takes on
a grip of comforting security, as the tenderness seeps from you to me
whispers caress my ears, and the pressure of your lips
melts into your tongue on my skin
insistent fingers find chinks in my armor
and all resistence slips away
my head on your chest and the feel of your fingers in my hair
in a room full of noise and people, I rest quietly with you
do you feel it? the softness of being together....

The opposite of Love is Not Hate
its just plain indifference

sentiment is stupid
no emotion is true
tainted by all what we want it to be
not what it really is...
but, then again so subjective is reality
so it follows that emotions
are also bound to that subjectivity
sigh

can I truly say I am accepting of every emotion?