Well theres nothing like sheer determination to pull you out of it
Or lots of sleep
Lets hear them saying I look awful tonight!


Oh and in other news…. My neighbours (who’re a constant source of amusement to me) the little ones (2 sons)have now acquired english language skills, three sentences in English to be precise
“hello, how’re you?” (to which they immediately reply)
“I am fine” (as if they were conversing with themselves)
and
“what is this”

now imagine being only able to say these three lines
mix them up, reverse the order and spew each time my door opens or you spot me on the street a block away yell
“hello, how’re you, I am fine what is this!!”

So since I've gotten here all i've done is be sick
(and eat and shop) but mostly been sick
mymumbai cold-turned into a sore throat
which turned into a full blown cough
and a fever that just wouldn't leave
then came the headache from hell
and all anyone can say to me is
how awful you look, how thin you've become
"look at her face, so small and shrunken in"
"you look like a real kiddo"
erm......
please please ladies and gentlemen slow down
your comments are killing me

s-i-g-h

oh and i might just have to wear glasses....

up up and away i went
such an eventful journey
firt while getting my boarding card
the kuw airways guy offered me a paper flower he had made
I politely declined, I was worried about the weight of my luggage
As I filled up my immigration form, in my peripheral vision I was suddenly aware of gujju looking man staring at me
:P
At immigration after I handed over my passport the officer
Her superior rudely interrupted, reprimanding her in marathi
for allowing 2 fake passports to go by
she looked ready to cry
and I pretended not to understand a word he was saying.
I was worried she might not stamp my passport or stamp it incorrectly
she put her head in her hands,
and I told her to take deep breaths, and massage her temples
she said she was tired and had a persistent headache and that her kids were troubling her, i told her I understood it wasn't easy working weird hours and going through so many documents...
she stamped my passport, I thamked her, as I started to walk away
she asked me what I did for a living, I told her
and she started to laugh out loud
have a nice day I said and proceeded to gate number 6
at security just as my pink (see-through)bag was coming thru the x-ray machine, the cop bellows to the other cop, "lighter walla kahan hai"
"chala gaya" she said, "B!@# C*&^%" he bellowed out, and strode toward gate 5 hauling "lighter walla" right back, my pink pag had come thru now and lay at the bottom other bags were crushing it, I was worried about my stuff....suddenly angry cop stamped my tag and I was free to go, can't say the same about "lighter walla" though
I walked over to gate 6 and sat down
and out of nowhere came gujju looking man and sat down beside me
OH GOD I said in my head
i don't know the opening line of the conversation but yes gujju man
actually drawled on a gujju/american accent asking me if I was headed to chicago....then about my perfume and how when he smelt it at immigration it reminded him of someone he used to know
he said his name was :manish" and put a hand forward and said "good to meet you"
I refused to shake his hand told him "we didn't meet, you just asked me a bunch of questions"
he stayed silent before getting up and asking me to watch his ugly brown bag while he went to fetch water to take his pills.
for emphasis he waved a bottle of pills at me...
he returned and thanked me profusely as if i had saved his life
he set a full glass of water down the pills were no where to be seen
he then proceeded to offer me that! glass of water!!
"I got it for you" he said, "i didn't ask you to" I said in my most rude voice
you might think that, that should've been enough to make him shut up
but Nooooooooooooooooooooo Mr persistent gujju
goes on to say wow you're rudeness is so attractive....you smell like a godess, you refuse to shake my hand I get you water cause you're coughing and you refuse that as well....I interrupted him, "Look can't you take a hint??? I'm tired, I'm sleepy, I'm ill and I'm not interested in making conversation, shaking your hand or drinking water"
gujju man finally shut up!!!
s-i-g-h





and sighed

Bogged down
and
barely keeping head above the surface
with unprecedented flood of tension filled events
none of which I should be dealing with at 23
but "should's" have never really applied to my life
but you know,
when the going gets tough..... call daddy!

And I wonder

If you still think about me
When you're alone in bed

And I wonder

If you still think about her
When you're thinking about me
(ERIK MAX)

I've been busy
so posting hasn't been priority
but hey, I'll always come back to post eventually....
I'll be dealing with distance soon enough
and I'll be missing

I'm leaving next sunday

"I feel I should spend more time with you" he said

and then quickly added "Do you think that's a good idea"

DUH!

its been lovely

I loved His page when I saw it....
had to post a poem I liked

All you ever gave me (was tomorrow).

Why can't we forget?
We know better
But we still
Fall in love
No future
For us now
Is the only thing
That is truly real
And men and women
Like us
Should be what they seem
But that
Isn't always the way
Things happen
Sometimes regret
Is all that you have
And all I have to say
Is that
All you ever gave me
Was tomorrow

ERIK MAX FRANCIS

I still can't sleep...

and I feel this compulsive need to explain....

I see us, as based not only on what I percieve you to be,
but also how I percieve, your perception of me....

which is why the constant recognition of the connection
and the joyful realization that there exists one other in the universe
who's dealing with darkness and for whom sub atomic particles make sense....

Its not just the wit, the thrill, the chemistry or the happiness
that such companionship brings
but the sense of freedom that comes from the willingness to trust someone
to let someone in....


My darling I adore you

It took me by surprise,
(nearly knocked me off my feet)
the first time I saw him...
I could do nothing but stare

In hind sight I thought and still think
that the nose is different and yes even the chin
but Oh he is so much like Him...

He burst into my room today
(with some of the kids who come regularly)
it annoyed me I was not prepared
To meet him....a little clone of him,
looking like him and acting just as familiar
was so strange, I felt I was outside looking in
He introduced himself....
I tried not to stare
it was hard
he perched himself at the edge of my desk
smiling all the while....
just like him

years later he still upsets me

how long can a girl be shackled to you?
how long before my dignity is reclaimed?
how long can a girl be haunted by you?
soon i'll grow up and I won't
even flinch at your name

How can I tell you about the demons that haunt me
what sight or resemblace stirs up inside
what lies beneath? but hurt and pain...
churned up and spit out again and again?
The self condemnation that follows
and the the guilt for putting myself through it
years later he still upsets me....
like creatures, you can relate
I know you know what I know

I spooked the workers on the roof
who looked at me as if I were trespassing!
yesterday the terrace seemed large and lonely
Today I craved its solitude...

By all means use sometimes to be alone.
Salute thyself; see what thy soul doth wear.
~George Herbert

I shhhhed a rooster on the roof
who crowed at the setting sun
as if it were rising!
In defiance when he heard me
turned his back, cocked his head
and crowed instead of being embarrassed
I shhhhed again, the mindless bird
louder still, making sure he heard
the foolish cock appeared to be
nonchalantly mocking me
swishing his red plume from side to side
disregarding the fading light
trying hard in his cockrel way
to re-create the fading day

(D, suggests jet lag by way of explaining strange cock)
the one on the roof, that is